BFF #1 and I are generally connected every day on Facebook Messenger. Every day. All day. Lunch breaks and meetings aside, we chat. Sometimes it’s random. Sometimes it’s not. But it’s nice to know that, no matter the distance, I get to work with my best friend every day.
Everyone should be this lucky.
My first message to her, today, went like this:
ME: I kept seeing something out of the corner of my nose. Then I was like, “Oh…. It’s my nose.”
ME: Fail. The corner of my *eye*! My nose can’t see out of anywhere.
After this one-way exchange, I began to think of all the random things we talk about all day. For your reading pleasure, I have included it here. Hope it makes you smile the way it makes me smile.
ME: BFF #3 just posted on FB today, “Does anyone else clean when they are stressed?”
I was like, “I clean when I’m angry. I got that from BFF #1.” Then it occurs to me that I didn’t get angry-cleaning from you. I got “redirecting” from you.
Her: I’m not angry as much as everything there was so clean (and it was so refreshing).
ME: Lol. Exactly why I didn’t get angry-cleaning from you. You’re a cleaner. I’m a go-to-sleeper.
Her: What time?
ME: What time? Ice Cream Shake time. (#thingsfatgirlssay)
Her: Actually the first one was totally separate. What time did dude come in? (Pause) It is an hour necessary for a candle to be burning, for relaxation time.
ME: Grammatically speaking, which is correct:
“Are you *a* Jehovah’s Witness?”
“Are you Jehovah’s Witness?”
Her: Yes on the first, the second would apply as a “we are Jehovah’s Witnesses.”
ME: Ahhhh… okay. I’m on board. Not that it matters, in any capacity with regard to anything. It’s just something that crossed my mind.
The world can resume its revolution around the sun, now.
Her: That’s funny. I’m like, weird question. “Those Jehovahs” is my favorite.
ME: “Those Jehovahs” might actually sound like a racial slur. Like, “those people”. “Those N-words” (I am being kind to your gentle mind by not using the *actual* n-word.)
Her: Go home.
ME: Almost. Just finishing one thing. HEY! You go home, too.
Her: In the car already.
ME: Memes are my hobby.
Her: We should get you a non-digital hobby. It’s better for your soul.
ME: I’m so mentally frazzled that I’m using periods unnecessarily on bullet points. *face palm*
Her: Payroll is due by 10. I sent a note that said I’m leaving town please do payroll at 8. Here it is 3 fricken 24 and there is one person not done. I’m about to curse.
ME: I like your emphasis on three fricken 24.
ME: I like the word burgled.
Her: I’m looking at weeds I put round up on last night. They are green as ever and smiling at me. ….Jackasses.
Me: Yell at them and express your disappointment. Then threaten to drown them in bleach or fire.
“YOU DISAPPOINT ME WEEDS!!”
Her: I’m eating spoonfuls of peanut butter.
ME: I’m chewing gum.
So that’s basically it. Between these random musings is the very best friendship I could ever hope to have. She’s my rubberband, and keeps me together when I’m falling apart. And when there isn’t drama, she allows me to be who I am. And she loves me anyway. I love her.
My cup runneth over.